The Forum

STLCC to Replace Toilet Paper with Single Piece of String Dangling from Ceiling

By Vienna I. Austin

December 8, 2023

STLCC's current half-ply toilet paper, set to be replaced by 2026.

The STLCC administration has announced a new project that seeks to save the school money on bathroom supplies by replacing the toilet paper in every stall with a single piece of white string dangling from the ceiling. The measure is expected to save the school over $10,000 a year, or roughly the salary of an entire adjunct professor. The Forum interviewed many Flo Valley students, many of whom spoke positively of the idea. Noel Daniels, a nursing student on campus, was one of these students, saying: "Yeah, I don't use the bathrooms here, so, like, I don't fuckin' care. Yeah, that's, that's cool, I guess."

The program has, however, been met with some criticism. Jaylen Brown, another student interviewed by The Forum, for instance, stated: "I don't know, man. I mean, at least make the string like black or brown so you can't see all the shit on it. I mean, that's the civil thing to do." Though a vein of discontentment may run through certain sects of students, with broad support from the administration and students, the plan is set to be a success.

It is estimated that the project will take until roughly 2026 to be implemented. Until then, toilet paper will be slowly phased out through multiple phases of transition from our normal half-ply, to a quarter-ply, which will then be hung from the ceiling until the strings can be installed.